Dan Foster, Nigerian-based American On-Air Personality, tells ‘Nonye Ben-Nwankwo how he came to Nigeria and his relationship with Nigerian ladies
Why did you marry a Nigerian?
My father told me that my ex had moved on. In fact, he told me then that she looked heavy. I asked what he meant and I was told she was pregnant. I knew she had really moved on. But then, I didn’t marry again till almost four or five years later. I was taking my time after that. It wasn’t something I wanted to jump into. But then, I did have so many options.
We knew you had options including Linda Ikeji…
Oh yeah! I remember Linda asking me what she did wrong. She went on and on. My wife always tries to delete her number no matter how I tag it on my phone. She would always figure the number out and she would find out what I use to code it. My wife is so strong and she is the right woman. I love her because she didn’t know who I was when I met her at the theatre. She still didn’t know who I was for almost two weeks after. We just had a great conversation. My sister kept asking me how I would find somebody that would love me for who I am. I put my wife to that test. She didn’t know me. It was two weeks later that people in her office asked her if she knew who her boyfriend was and they told her. She told them she didn’t know and she hadn’t even heard me on radio.
But Linda is doing well now; don’t you feel you should have married her?
She is a nice kid. I hope she is able to find someone but she has to find the right person. She is really into what she is doing. She is an honest kid. I thought I wasn’t good enough for her. I kept asking her why me. But she was really into me. I couldn’t believe it. I took her for granted. I felt she could always find a fine model on the runway. But she was so really serious about me. She was in love with me. But it didn’t work out. I took her for granted and I was dating another person while I was dating her. I tried to keep a relationship in Abuja, another in Warri while she was in Lagos. Ah! It was a nightmare. I wouldn’t want to go through that again. I had three beautiful women at a time and I lost them all. They were all waiting. One of them knew about all the rest. She could have been the one. I hurt her so badly. She even left the country after we broke up. I felt bad. I went to the cinema to get my head together on a Saturday morning and that was where I met my wife. See how God works. Look at my kids. They are wonderful children.
Do you have regrets coming down here?
The only regret I had was that in 1999, I had a son in the US. I had to go to my dad and I told him, ‘Dad, I think I like my job more than being married now. I would do anything for that job but then, I just met this woman and she just had a baby for me.’ He is now 16. I was mad at him last year. My ex sent me some of his pictures and I knew he was doing drugs. He had everybody fooled as if he was a cool kid. I feel so guilty because I am sitting here making all the money and I didn’t spend time with him. You have to spend time with your kids or you would lose them. Sometimes I would call him and he wouldn’t have anything to say. I would ask him how he was doing and he would just say ‘fine.’ I would scold him and tell him to say something more than one word. I would tell him to ask me questions and he would say he didn’t know what to say.
Did you ever smoke weed?
Yes. I remember one time I smoked weed and my father came in and asked me, ‘what is that stupid look on your face? You must have been smoking that stupid stuff because you look so stupid!’ I never smoked it again. But I was even 18. But my son was 14 when he started smoking weed. I was so pissed with his mum because she didn’t even know what he was doing. Now, I am trying to get his head together and make sure he does well in school. My only pain is that I needed to have been there for this kid. But I have three kids now and I love them to death.
Was your absence the major reason he did drugs?
I could have communicated more with him. He needs a role model. I spoke to my ex’s new guy and I asked him why he didn’t watch over him. He said he tried to talk to him. I told him I was annoyed with them. I told him I would have watched over the kid and found out who he was hanging out with. He told me he was hanging out with a white kid. But he is doing better now. He is communicating with me now.
punch
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