Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Woman killed herself after struggling to deal with being unmarried and childless by 30
A broody young woman killed herself after she struggled with the fact she was unmarried and had no children by the age of 30.
Hospital administrator Rachel Gow, 29, had wanted to walk up the aisle and have a family of her own but became "troubled" that she achieved neither.
As her 30th birthday approached the self confessed "dizzy blonde" she said felt other members of her family were "doing better than her."
Fearing her boyfriend Anton Tsvarev, 30 would leave her, Miss Gow sent him a test message wishing him "all the best for the future" before poisoning herself at her home. Mr Tsvarev who had been visiting a friend later found Miss Gow but she died despite attempts by him to revive her.
An inquest was told Miss Gow, from Haslingden, Lancashire, had been an "outgoing, adventurous and loving" young woman who had attained a 2:1 in History from Lancaster University before working at Royal Bolton Hospital.
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In a statement read to the Burnley hearing Rachel's brother Stephen Best and her sister Sarah Davidson said: "Rachel had been a happy child who had lots of friends, she loved to dance and play the violin.
"She was very close to her sister Sarah She was very academic and following A levels she studied at Lancaster University. She also made people laugh. She was proud to be at Lancaster and also a dizzy blonde."
The statement added: "She had three breakups before her relationship with Anton. Her greatest wish was to settle down and get married."
But Miss Gow's problems began in 2011 after her mother Connie a primary school teacher died from cancer aged 66 in 2011.
She took the death "very hard" but later Miss Gow's family and friends thought she was improving and she met Mr Tsvarev in May 2012 and he moved in with her during 2013. She also got her job at the hospital.
The statement said: "Following the death of her mother Rachel had a period of independence. She met Anton and they were both extremely happy. He moved in. They had lots in common.
"She did have three breakups before her relationship with Anton and her greatest wish was to settle down, start a relationship and get married.
"But she could not overcome her previous sadness and felt Anton would leave her. She was looking forward to turning 30, planning trips to Italy with Anton and going to go Vegas for her birthday, she was saving money every month. But the relationship became unstable and they tried to make it work.
Mr Tsvarev an engineer told the hearing: "Our relationship had a lot of ups and downs due to her insecurities. This would cause a lot of problems. She constantly felt I was going to leave her but this was not the case."
Miss Gow who was due to celebrate her 30th birthday in January this year went to see a psychologist in September 2014 and Mr Tsvarev added: "There had been nothing significant at the time except the anniversary of her mother's death also along with her 30th birthday and mine.
"These were all things that troubled her. She felt she was not where she should be in life."
He said she felt that she should be married with children and that her siblings were doing better than her and said: "This was something she struggled with.
"Rachel had spoken to me about the fact she had researched suicide techniques. 'I was not sure how serious she was about it because she always said things in the heat of the moment."
The day before Rachel was found last November 1, the couple went to her father's house to look after his dog while he was away. But in the morning, the couple had an argument over a text message Miss Gow had found on Mr Tsvarev's phone from someone else.
He said: "In the morning we both got up. I had my phone on charge in the bed room. She looked at it. She came into the living room very upset telling me to leave. She had found texts on my phone from someone. They were not out of the ordinary. She didn't see it that way."
Later that the day couple drove home to their house in Haslingden and Anton went out to visit a friend in Preston.
He said: "She was still upset when we arrived home. She was very agitated. This was not a new thing. I left the house at 13pm after picking some clothes as I decided to stay somewhere else for a while. I went to Preston to visit a friend."
He added: "I got a text from her wishing me the best for the future. It was common place after an argument so I didn't think anything of it."
However Mr Tsvarev "had a really bad feeling" so he decided to go back to Haslingden to see if everything was alright.
He said: "I went into the lounge. The lights were off but the fire was on. I could see her lying on the floor."
The inquest was told that Anton performed CPR on Rachel until emergency services arrived just before 9pm, but Miss Gow was pronounced dead.
Tests showed Miss Gow had died from hypoxia as a result of helium inhalation.
Recording a verdict of suicide, Coroner Richard Taylor said: "We have a girl who is severely troubles by a number of aspects of her life. As I understand it she was having a slightly more positive year because of new employment.
"But she clearly had difficulties and at some stage she purchased the items with which she took her own life. It appears from her actions she did that with intent to end her life."
In a statement Mr Tsvarev said: "Everyone is devastated by Rachel's death. It's a tragic loss for everyone, I'm absolutely heartbroken. Being around her was so easy, we enjoyed all the same things and we loved going walking together in the Lake District.
"Rachel did a lot of travelling all over the world and she was very adventurous and loved life.
"She was a fantastic person who inspired everyone around her. She was still grieving for her mum - they were very close. She really did miss her mum, she always spoke very highly of her."
Miss Gow's brother brother Stephen Best added: "Through all of our grief and sadness, it is essential that we remind ourselves of why we all loved her. Rachel was effervescent, full of fun and laughter, and could tell a brilliant joke.
Sister Sarah Davidson said: "She was very popular and made friends easily. She was a kind and generous person who made other people feel at ease. She was a treasured sister and was wonderful with children."