Friday, December 14, 2012

Blood makes you related, Loyalty makes you Family

Growing up, I always hear the phrase “blood is thicker than water” in my family and I’m sure many of you can relate to this; we were taught no matter what you always choose your family first.Well over the years most of the pain that has been afflicted on us has not been by someone we didn’t know, but by those we trusted the most.
Blood is thicker than water
Family is supposed to be loyal, ready to take care of you when the chips are down, ready to fight for you when you can't and even when you can, ready to take on the world if the world were against you. Family is something we choose: our closest people, our most precious people. Family can be friends, comrades, blood-relations, in-laws, etc. so long as they are the ones who will be with you always.Your aunts, uncles,
cousins, and grandparents aren't always your family. You may be connected, but blood doesn't inspire trust and love and loyalty, only obligates kin to give these things.When it is not given out of free will, it is not strong, or sometimes even real. Those friends that comfort you when everyone else has torn you down are your family. Those comrades who save your life, even at the risk of their own, are your family. Those blood-relations who stretches an helping hand to you are your family! Those in-laws who take you in when others cast you out are your family. That is family!

Family is not only those related to you by blood or marriage but for me includes friends "True friends". The ones that have stuck by you through the worst and put up with you when you were not your best. They support you and help pick you up. They don't judge you, they may think u are a bit crazy or not agree with you but they don't turn their backs on you. Family is my rock! I have the best parents,brother and sisters and extended family a person can ask for.Ya sometimes they all drive me nuts but I wouldn't have it any other way.Family is a collection of people who will fight tooth and nail with you through the darkness of life, be there to pick you up when you fall, love you for who you are and those who you can be yourself with forever and always. Family is important. No one deserves to be alone and everyone deserves to be loved. When the world has turned against you, true family sticks by your side and sees you through life's mistakes.Of course we can't forget that they are the best people to celebrate with as well!
Some blood relatives will be the most loyal family members you’ll have your entire life. But, we all have relatives who we rarely speak with, hardly ever see, maybe get a Christmas card from, or post “Happy Birthday” on their Facebook wall. We all also probably have non-blood related people who are involved closely in our daily lives, understand our goals, and are there when we need them most.
To develop self-esteem is to widen the capacity to be happy; self-esteem allows people to be convinced they deserve happiness. Understanding this is fundamental, and universally beneficial, since the development of positive self-esteem increases the capacity to treat other people with respect, benevolence and goodwill, thus favoring rich interpersonal relationships and avoiding destructive ones.

Blood vs Loyalty
Blood is thicker than water.I say loyalty is thicker than blood.who agrees with me on this?
Your family has nothing to do with who you are as a person. If your mother is someone who is always there for you and gives you love and support, she is your family. If she is an alcoholic who abuses you, she is not. If your friend is always there to make you laugh and would go to the worlds end for you, he/she is your family. Blood doesn’t play any importance to who is your family. Love does!
You don't have to be blood to be family. Just the act of being there and loyalty makes you family.
That’s why loyalty plays a very important role! I don’t want someone in my life just because we are related but because we have built a relationship on a stronger foundation, and that’s something greater than your last name!
Blood will always love you but they might not always be there for you when you need them.It might be the best friend or someone else that is there when you need someone the most. In my mind, that's what makes a family the people that help you through your hard times and help you better yourself as a person and that will stick with you through think and thin.I think it is case by case, person by person, family, loyalty, love, trust and respect are allotted by actions...not title!
Family is not a title given by me to those simply sharing parts of DNA. For me Family is made of people you love, trust, rely on... and know without a doubt will be there for you when you need them. That's sounds a lot more simple than it is.With me... if you turn your back on someone (just because you choose NOT to attempt to understand their view - you are less family, less friend... and likely not worth the time to pursue keeping on as anything in one's life).Some people claim to be one thing and when given the chance to stand up and show they were what they claimed - they tucked their tail between their legs and did the complete opposite.Someone who is family loves you not because they have to, but because they choose to.... takes the time to really know you, wants to see things from your view (even if they don't agree), and will always have your back...

My MOTHER is my number one Family, my solid rock, my mentor, my best friend, my life, my Hero, my everything, the reason i am me today! No matter what, I will love her forever and a day after! 

My promise to my unborn children....I am your mother. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare, and scold you when needed, WHY? because I LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cherishes, cares and worries about you more then I do!

I asked some people this question- what does family mean to you? i picked out few out of the replies i got :

Anonymous - It means people you share DNA with, That only "pretends" to love you around the holidays. It's true...well, Isn't it?

Mary - My family is my life! Whether i hate them or love them at times. I know they will be there for me no matter what. They will always see the best interest and remain the biggest influence in my life. I LOVE THEM

Shade - People who are there to catch you when you fall

Lawrence - Everything!

Anonymous - Family are the people who make every emotion intensified by 1000. They can stress you out more than anyone else...but they can also give you the happiest times of your life.

Rocky - My family consists of my friends. I love them more than words could begin to describe.

Blessed child - Complicated

Simisola - Family is literally the world to me. If I did not have my family I would not be who I am today...

Tom - Family!A word with so much to explain,The one I own, is fairly beautiful. Through the disappointments, love, hurt, anger, happiness, fear, any emotion. Stuck like glue. For each member to endure the annoyance of the others. That's what my family is A fall back, A safety net, Someone to hold my hand. Sure, they upset me from time to time. But, family is important to me. Because I know when I am down and out. My family and friends are going to be the ones putting me back together. No matter how I act, or what I do...they need to know that I love them, and always will.

Zainab - My family is horrible

Uche - Family is EVERYTHING.  Family provide strength, stability, and most importantly Love.Without this, there is nothing but emptiness.

Chris - My step-family is stress. My real family is home

Angel - Loyality comes first for me, it will hurt me less if my friend betrays me than my blood family


Anonymous said...

i love this Tolu

honeyboo said...

My father dealt with me while growing up, my step bro and sis hated me with passion now i am doing well more than all of them..#irony of life

Anonymous said...

nice write up..hope to read more of this on this blog

Full Spectrum Mama said...

BEAUTIFUL!!! Am going to link to this!!! Thanks so much...

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